The Way it all Would End
by Jennifer Ever Zero
Summary: Five years after Scully leaves the FBI, Mulder decides to pay her a visit. They try not to think of what could have been...


The Way it All Would End

By Zero

It had been five years since Scully had left the FBI. Five years...seemed like such a long time to Mulder, especially now. He hadn't seen Scully in at least three years, but he thought about her every day...he thought it was pathetic, but he knew he couldn't stop. Whatever he felt for her back then was just as strong now. She had moved to southern Colorado with her baby, get as far away from the government and the X-Files as she could, she had put it all behind her. But Mulder couldn't.

"Mulder, we got our next assignment. This is serious shit, too, Area 51 security breach..." Agent Tom Steele walked in, carrying a folder in one hand and a cup of java in the other. Tom was a nice kid, he'd been with Mulder ever since Scully left, but somehow, Tom and Mulder never quite 'clicked'.

"Area 51...Roswell...meaning we fly into where?"

"Denver International." Tom tossed the folder to Mulder. "You're uptight today...James has the travel arrangements all taken care of." He was referring to Assistant Director Rodney James, Skinner's replacement of two years.

"Denver." He tried to hide that look on his face, the look that he was planning something...no such luck. His head was spinning. How to get down to Durango, it's so far out of the way...how to ditch the kid...how to see Scully again! "Tom, I've got some business in Denver, somebody I need to go see. I'll rent my own car and meet you there on Tuesday."

"We're not dealing with Skinner anymore, and you'll have to use your own money..."

"I know. We're not telling James, either. Meet you there on Tuesday. And don't forget those schematics."

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Everything had gone as planned. Mulder was behind the wheel--and by himself--on the way to Durango. The only thing to do now was call her and give her some warning. He had her home phone number...but something told him not to use it. Instead, he dialed her up on her new cell phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's me." His hands were trembling, and he couldn't hide a smile.

"Mulder," she said, her voice hushed, "what...are you doing?"

"I'm on my way to Durango. We've got a case around there. I was wondering if...I could come see you. You and your son."

"I...don't have a problem with that."

"I'll be there in a couple hours," he said, wondering why she sounded so nervous, "we'll catch up on old times, maybe."

"See you then..." She said. Mulder hung up, not knowing whether to be happy or not. He got to see Scully...but what was going on? And how long would it take for Tom to let this little 'visit' leak to James? He was so scared of what he might find when he got there...or what he might not find. All he wanted was for things to go back to normal! To see her every day, to know she's always on the other end of the line, to know she needs him too, but this trip might put them even farther apart. He'd always been too scared to call, or talked himself out of it, and he almost wished he would have done it this time. His mind started to wander back to where it always did...his little thoughts about her. Nothing resembling a normal life, nothing like a family, that wasn't the life for him. It was just the little things he noticed about her that made him happy...the way her eyes looked green sometimes, the way she'd talk about her dad and her little dog, how she always knew when he needed to be alone and when he needed her, how she looked in the dark, the way she always tried to seem so strong...those memories would always be there.

The sun was setting over the mountains, it just looked so serene and peaceful. He hoped to God she was happy here...because if she wasn't happy here, she wouldn't be happy anywhere. He slowed, the signs pointing him off the highway and into a tiny town. Kids from the college wandered the main street. The leaves were falling all over, giving him a chilling reminder that nothing can last. The city was going to sleep as the sun went down over it. Mulder easily navigated the little streets to a white house on the corner. He decided to park on the street, even though the driveway was open and inviting. He took a deep breath, got out of the car, and walked up to the porch. It took his breath away...Scully lives here? In a house? With a kid, and toys in the front yard, and a puppy barking in the back yard, and a little truck? He rang the doorbell, his fingers crossed behind his back.

"Can I help you?" A little boy, about five years old, opened the door. Mulder was silent, dumbfounded. Scully's son! He looked down at the kid...he had his mother's eyes, his mother's dark red hair...and a strangely familiar nose.

"Uh...yeah. Is your mom here?"

"Yeah. You want me to go get her?"

"Please." He smiled, and resisted the urge to pat the little boy on the head.

"MOMMMMMYYYY!!", the kid yelled, running back to the kitchen, "Somebody's here! An' he wanna talk to you!"

Dana walked to the door...her hair was pulled up, and she was dressed in blue jeans and a simple purple sweater. Mulder was breathless, yet again. He just stared, his mouth slightly open.

"Mulder...come inside." She returned his confused stare, showing him to the living room couch.

"Mulder." The kid repeated his name, following them.

"Travis, this is Mulder...and Mulder, this is my son." Mulder held out a hand, and the kid slapped him five.

"Travis! You shake his hand," Scully said, slightly irritated. The kid held out his hand and gave him a little shake. "That's better." She sat down on the couch, at a loss for words, never quite looking Mulder in the eyes.

"So...you seem to be doing well, Scully." He took a look around...it was just a house like any other house, looking so nice for her.

"Dana. Not Scully." She reached up to scratch her face, giving Mulder an eyeful of a gold wedding band.

"What..." He clenched his teeth, turning away. His hands balled up into fists, trying to contain this rage.

"Dana Thompson...Andrew and I have been married for almost three years now." She looked to Mulder, wondering why her voice cracked when she said that, angry at herself for even letting him in.

"You...no. No!" Already tensed up, he raised himself off the couch, but stopped when she put a hand on his leg.

"Stay."

"Why?" He sat back down indignantly, closing his eyes so he wouldn't see that ring.

"You haven't told me why you came here." She looked to the floor, then back to him.

"It's not important. I just came to see...how you were." His eyes still closed, he leaned back on the couch and heaved a defeated sigh. "But now I know. So now I have no reason to be here."

"Mulder...please. Just tell me. I know there's more, and I ... " her voice trails off.

"S...D-dana...It wouldn't happen anyway. I just wanted things to go back to the way they were. Before you got pregnant, before you left, when we were still together every day...I needed that back then, and I'm starting to realize more and more that I need it now. I need you to be there for me, and you're not...and I don't even know who I am without you."

"We've been apart for five years, Mulder."

"I know, and I've been lost for five years. I don't care. I go to work, I don't give a fuck, I leave. I'm just there to show Tom the ropes, and he knows 'em now. So I have nothing."

"You have your work, you have Samantha...you have so many pieces of the puzzle, you're so close to the answer..."

"But I don't have anything to hold the pieces together," he said, "That's what I need. I need something to work for, someone to give it all to, and I need it to be you."

"Mulder, I can't..." Her lower lip trembled, she looked up to blink the tears away, and spoke. "I had to leave, it was killing me. Literally killing me. And you know this. I've thought about the X-Files every day, what you were doing...I still miss you sometimes. All the time. ... ... But that's a part of my life that I've had to give up. For him, for Andrew, for my own health and sanity."

"I just wish it wouldn't have gone this way..."

"Me too."

"...because I...that whole time, up until now, I loved you. And you...ran out on me, took that one part of my life that was worth living."

"Mulder, you never stopped to ask yourself...do I feel the same way about you that you do about me? And I do. I always did..." She turns away, tears building in her eyes again, and her voice falls to a whisper. "I wanted you to come with me. Stay alive, stay happy, don't let yourself rot in a job that means nothing with a life that means nothing...but we both chose our paths, and there's nothing we can do..." She lowered her head, letting a tear slide down her cheek. Without thinking, he wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close.

"Sshhhh...Dana...it's alright..."

"No it isn't." She looked up to him, stone cold serious. "It's not alright, because there's nothing we can do to make it right. We can't change the past...and we can't go back, like I know we both want to do. So there's nothing to do but...let go of the past. It may have been the best time of our lives, whether we knew it or not, but we can't keep holding on."

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__

It may have been the best time of our lives, whether we knew it or not, but we can't keep holding on." Mulder sat in the little coffeehouse, letting those words ring through his ears and stab at his heart. He knew, she knew...it was just the truth. And if he would have known that it would all end that way, he would have told her before. Nothing to do but let the days play themselves out.

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